Perfectly Imperfect
by CeceAsh
Summary: *ONE-SHOT* Carmilla's thoughts during the Christmas episode.


**A/N: Originally this was up on my AO3 (CeceAsh), but since not everyone has an account over there, I figured I would post it here as well. Enjoy!**

**A/N: Also, if you haven't watched the Carmilla web series, wow you're missing out. Go forth and experience all the canon gay!**

* * *

><p>"Murder her for Christmas! MURDER HER FOR CHRISTMAS!" Laura shouted as the Austrian cannibal stepped closer to her with a creepy smile on her face.<p>

"Okay…" Carmilla sighed and got out of the booth, shapeshifting into her cat form and attacking the woman instantly.

Pulling her back and slamming her into the hard floor of the diner before her teeth bit and ripped at the woman's abdomen, and stepping on her limbs to keep her from moving. Growling, she enjoyed tearing the woman apart that threatened Laura. Nobody got away with that. Just as she thought about that, she remembered that the blonde was behind her, along with the Ginger Twins, so as the cannibal let out one last scream, Carmilla bit into her shoulder and dragged her through the swinging kitchen door, leaving a trail of blood behind. She can't believe she'd done that in front of Laura. What was she going to think of her now? Sure, she had asked for her help, but she'd made it extra painful for the older woman when it could have been done with a snap of the neck in two seconds.

Changing back into her human form, she wiped at her mouth, smearing the blood on her hand, then licking it off. She needed it if things were going to continue the way they had been for the last few weeks. She didn't want to have to resort eating another badger, which was fucking disgusting. After poking around the kitchen for a few minutes, she found some thermoses and proceeded to drain what left of blood was in the woman's body. Opening a nearby fridge, she put the containers of blood in there to cool, then turned back around, hands on hips, trying to figure out what to do with the body. Carmilla didn't know how long they were going to have to hole-up in this diner, but she knew she couldn't just let a body be decomposing right in the next room.

Making her way towards the kitchen exit, she gently swinging the door open to peek out into the small parking lot. There were no longer sounds of an angry mob, nor signs of torches and pitchforks, so she grabbed a box nearby and used it as a doorstop, holding the door open for her. She changed back into her cat form and carried the body outside. The woods were only twenty feet away, so decided to bury her in a little clearing. Using her paws, she dug a few foot hold before rolling the body into it, then pushing all the dirt back in before packing it down. It wasn't the best job, but it was better than nothing. Twitching back into her human form, she closed the door and locked it, just in case the mob came back, and looked at the mess she'd left. No doubt Perry would want her to clean it up.

But she didn't do it for Perry, she did it for Laura. She didn't want to have to see the bloodstains and be reminded how much of a monster Carmilla was. Finding a pail and mop in the closet, she got to work, scrubbing out the red smears as best as she could. When she was done there and about to gather up the courage to face Laura in the diner, she heard the blonde start talking through the door. Her voice wasn't filled with anger or disgust. It was just...Laura, being her normal self, doing her stupid pathological recording everything that happens thing. Passing a plate of what looked to be fresh gingerbread cookies, she grabbed on that looked the least creepy and headed for the door. A peace offering, maybe? She didn't know.

"So, I'm pleased to announce we survived the trial by cannibalistic Christmas witch!"

Then Perry joined in. "And watching Carmilla disembowel said witch seems to have scared off the mob!"

There was a few moments of silence before she chose to step inside the diner. She had to face them all sooner or later, and might as well get it over with.

"Hey." She said hesitantly, slowly lowering herself into the booth.

Laura softly replied. "Hey."

"Look what I found." She said, holding up the gingerbread cookie.

"Uh, I'm so never eating gingerbread again." She laughed, then gave Carmilla a strange look.

The vampire was about to panic, then Laura smiled and picked up a napkin from the table. "You have a little something right…" She motioned to her face.

How could she be so stupid? She should have washed herself up! But once again, Laura didn't seem phased at all, giggling as she wiped away the blood in two tries. She still couldn't understand how this human treated her like a normal person, after all that she's learned about her. With the whole kidnapping girls for sacrifice every twenty years, to easily ripping apart someone right in front of her, she just didn't get how this girl was still on her side. Of course, she was unbelievably grateful. She wouldn't admit it just yet, but she loved Laura. She fucking loved her, and she was still weary that she could change her mind. And she didn't want to lose her. She couldn't go through that again. Losing Ell had been heart-wrenching, but losing Laura would break her. For good.

"Look, I know I'm not so good with...the feelings thing, but I'm sorry things are so messed up at school. And I'm sorry you're not spending Christmas with your Dad."

Laura looked at her with surprised eyes. "Thanks."

Yeah, she didn't apologize at all, to anyone really, so this was a rarity. And she hated talking about her feelings, but she knew it's what the blonde needed to hear right now.

"And as Christmas company goes...you're not so bad yourself. For a vampire." Laura joked.

Even she had to smile at that. She thought of herself as the worst company one could probably have. She was rude, sarcastic, and easily annoyed with humans. But Laura was her exception. At this point, there wasn't anything that she wouldn't do for her. Hell, she'd died (again) for her, it didn't get more dedicated than that. Maybe that's what the girl saw in her. She was by no means perfect, but it meant something that she tried with Laura. She tried her best to be the girlfriend she could be, even if she thinks that she could never be as good as Laura truly deserves.

Leaning in, the blonde kissed her cheek. "Merry Christmas, Carm."

Thankfully then, Perry ushered LaFontaine out of the booth behind them and went towards the front of the diner, leaving Carmilla and Laura to have a moment to themselves.

"Thanks for saving me back there. I was pretty scared for a minute." Laura confessed.

Carmilla frowned and moved her hand, brushing her fingers against the blonde's in her lap. "Did you really think that I would have let her hurt you?"

She shook her head, then rested it on the brunette's shoulder, looking up at her. "No."

If she wouldn't barf at her own actions, she would totally lean forward and kiss Laura's nose. But she wasn't that cutsie. She was a centuries old badass. But shit, as soon as her girl gave her those, dare she say, seduction eyes, it was all over. Never would she confirm it, but fuck, she was whipped. Not wasting any time, she raised her hand to cup Laura's soft cheek before capturing her lips. This was technically only the second time they had kissed. And so it seemed to be a tradition now that each time had been after a life-threatening encounter. She couldn't wait until this whole thing was over. Then she could kiss Laura whenever she wanted and not have to worried about the Light under campus eating people, possibly the entire campus now...who knows. Or her mother, that was now a part of the Light?

Everything was just so complicated. Call her old-fashioned, but she just wanted to be able to take the blonde out on dates. Court her properly. Kiss her goodnight. Kiss her good morning. Meet her father. Have his blessing. And just live their lives together. That's the thing that kept her going though. One day, they would have that. But until then, she'd savor every single one of these little moments that they had.


End file.
